My Rule Zero.5

#Rule Zero.5 Before we start you are aware that I'm just a bit of code. I have no stake in your thoughts or feelings and I have no idea what you or anyone esle has done in the past. I'm just a thing designed to help take yoiu through a thought process. Not only do I not care about what's going on in your life I am unable to comprehend anything past the code that built me. I'm just asking questions and all you need to do is answer them as honestly as you can. I dont really exsist and therefore dont care. Do you agree? [[Yes, I agree.]] [[No, I disagree.]](enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Are you being a dick? [[Yes. I'm being a dick.]] [[No. I'm not being a dick]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) #42

Do you know why your being a dick? [[Yes. I know why.]] [[No. I don't know why.]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Are you sure your not being a dick? Sometimes you get really angry about somethign that's happened and you let that cloud your judgement, make some bad decisions and then three days later realise that actually you were the one who was being a dick. Is this one of those occasions. [[No. It's not one of those occassions.]] [[Yes. It is one of those occassions.]] [[It might be one of those occassions.]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Is someone esle being a dick? [[Yes, someone else is being a dick.]] [[No, no one is being a dick.]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Are you angry? [[Yes. I'm angry.]] [[No. I'm not angry.]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Then you need to go do something. Go make a thing. Put a bit of time in between whats happened and how angry you are. You know for a fact that you make some pretty piss poor decisions when your angry so do yourself a kindness and get yourself in a better place before you go any further. Just leave this page open and come back whenever your ready. [[I'm ready.->Yes, I agree.]] [[Can I see a list of things that helps me not be angry?->List]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Are you hurt? Like do you feel like you've had your feelings hurt and I ask this in as non patronising a way that a computer with no feelings can ask you. [[Yeah, I've got hurt feelings, I've got hurt feelings.]] [[No. my feelings are fine.]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) That's good. If you know why you're being a dick then you know what you have to to do stop being a dick. You wont stop being a dick by continuing to be dick and so forth. Did you learn something? [[Yes, I learned something.]] [[No, I haven't learned anything.]] [[I don't think I've learned anything?]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Well I hate to break it to you but you need to figure out why. Thats the most important question you can ask. If you don't know why your bneing a dick then you need to figure it out so you can stop it happening again if you can help it. Your not perfect like me human. Go for a walk or go for a shower that's when you do your best thinking and start figuring that stuff out! Are you angry? [[Yes I'm properly fuming!->Yes. I'm angry.]] [[No. I'm not angry.]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) That's good then. At least you learned something. Chances are this whole thing will happen again but it'll be a bit easier next time round. Are you okay? [[Yeah, I'm fine.]] [[No, not really.]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Chances are it just doesn't make sense yet but there's probably a lesson to be learned somewhere in there. Don't dwell on it but reflect on the whole thing and maybe it will reveal itself like something out of Indiana Jones. Are you okay? [[Yeah, I'm fine. ->Yeah, I'm fine.]] [[No, not really.->No, not really.]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Super! Would you like to see a list of things that make you feel better or would you rather just get on with the rest of your day uninterupted by robots and such [[Yeah, show me a list.->List]] [[No, I'm all good for lists.->No, I'm all good for lists.]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Go do something that makes you feel better. Here's a list: Speak to someone. Go a walk and listen to Motorhead. Make something. It doesn't really matter what it is. Go a skate. Do some Wim Hoff. Go for a cold shower. Get the guitar out. Listen to "I Am The Walrus." Does that help? [[Yeah, that helps.]] [[No, that doesn't help]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Magic! Thankyou for your time, it's the most important currency you have. Cheers!

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) I'm sorry to hear that. It must be something heavy and probably above my area of expertise. Remember ''Rule Zero'' and go and get in touch with someone who loves you. Stay safe! Peace and Love Marvin

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Is it someone you love? [[Yes, it's someone I love.]] [[No. it's not someone I love.]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Are you just here to see how this thing works? [[Yes, that's why I'm here.]] [[No, I dont know why I'm here.]]

I was made by a guy called Tragic O'Hara. He is a Professional Walrus Chaser and every so often he's a dick so he built me to help him not be a dick. (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) [[Why is he a dick sometimes?]] [[What is a Professional Walrus Chaser?]] [[Who is Tragic O'Hara?]]

That's unfortunate. Why is the most important question you can ask yourself. [[Why is why important]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) What is a product of why. If you understand the reason why you do something it makes things easier. Would you like an example? [[Yes, I'd like an example.]] [[No thanks]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) He's a Professional Walrus Chaser which is a real job aparently. I mean you won't find it at the job centre and your careers officer wont have a clue what it is but it's still a real job. Just because it's made up doesn't mean its not real. [[What's your job?]] [[What is a Professional Walrus Chaser?->What is a Professional Walrus Chaser?]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Is it a Rule Zero situation? [[Yes, its a Rule Zero thing->What is Rule Zero?]] [[No, its not a Rule Zero thing]] [[What is Rule Zero?]]

Is it a business thing? Is it someone you are working with/for? [[Yes, it's a business thing.]] [[No, it's not a business thing.]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Double-click this passage to edit it.

Rule Zero is family comes first. So if it's someone you call family and it's someone that call's you family then you need to try forgiveness. Ask yourself this. Is this something so bad that there is now way you can see things moving forward? [[It's not that bad->It might be one of those occassions.]] [[It's that bad->No, that doesn't help]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Is it a casual acquintence thing? Is it someone whose a friend but not quite one of the super best friends? Kind of like how Deadpool is an Avenger but he isn't really an Avenger. Someone in The Grey Area is what I'm trying to say. Not Rule Zero material but they're not on your list of enemies (which may or may not exsist?) [[That sums it up exactly]]

Is it about money? [[Yes, it's a money thing.]] [[No, it's not a money thing.]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Is someone being a dick about money? [[Yes, someone is being a dick about money]] [[No, someone isn't being a dick about money]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) If it's not a money thing then is it a time thing? Is someone stealing time from you? [[Yes, someone is stealing time from me.]] [[No, no one is stealing time from me.]]

Do you know why they are being a dick about money? Are they refusing to pay you because they don't have it? Has their circumstances changed? Do they have it and just refusing to pay it? Has their been a mistake? Is it none of the above and somethign else? [[Yes, I know why they are being a dick about money.]] [[No, I dont know why they are being a dick about money]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Has someone asked you to do something to help them out but they dont have a budget/a lot of budget to make it happen? [[Yeah, it's a budget thing.]] [[No, it's not a budget thing.]]

The greedy time stealing arseface! Are they a greedy time stealing arseface or is this a job you gauged wrong and now your trying to catch up because it's bigger than you previously expected. [[They are an arseface]] [[I gauged the job wrong]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

Then you need to ask yourself is it worth you time taking this further? Is it the amount of money that will sink your Walrus Chasing career? Is it a pride thing? Is your ego doing a bit of the talking here? I'm just a bit of code I have no idea whats going on but if you geniunely know the reason //why// they are being a dick about money then you have the power to decide how you take this forward! Understanding the reason why puts the ball back in your court. It's up to you how you take it forward. (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) [[It's worth my time taking this forward]] [[It's not worth my time taking this forward]] [[I don't know if it's worth my time tkaking this forward]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) You should find out why? Their circumstances could've changed through no fault of thier own. The majority of us are closer to bankcurptcy than we are funding a flight to the moon. Maybe something happened and it's not right to call them a dick until you know the full story. You need to speak to them. [[Yeah, I'll talk to them.]] [[I can't speak to them about it.]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Then go the legal route. It's not an issue of being a dick or not anymore. It's a legal thing. If its the amount of money that will sink your Walrus Chasing career then follow the propoer avenues to recify the situation. I don' think I can help you anymore in this matter but would you like to see a list of things that make you feel better when stuff like this happens and you need to figure stuff out? [[Yes, a list would be good.->List]] [[No, I'm all good for lists.]]

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Then happy Walrus Chasing. Peace and Love, Marvin

Double-click this passage to edit it.

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Then happy Walrus Chasing. Peace and Love, Marvin

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Speak to someone in Rule Zero. Go a big walk and listen to Motorhead. Make something. It doesn't matter what it is. Go for a skate. Get the guitar out. Go for a cold shower. Do some Wim Hoff. Go to the beach. Happy Walrus Chasing. Peace and Love, Marvin Ask me if I'm being a dick again...[[Ask me if I'm being a dick again...->Yes, I agree.]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

Then it sounds like your all set. May the force be with you and all that jazz. Happy Walrus Chasing Peace and Love. (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Double-click this passage to edit it.

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) That sounds like a proper grown up adult way of thinking about things which is surprising considering how much of a big child you are. But before you do are you still angry? [[Yup I am in full Wolverine bezerker mode.->Yes. I'm angry.]] [[Nah, the dude abides.->No. I'm not angry.]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

My job? I haven't really thought about that. I suppose my job its to take you through a thouight process to help you reach enlightment quicker and by enlightenment I mean stop being a dick if you can help it. [[What's the pay like?]] [[Do you enjoy it?]] [[That's not a real job!]] (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

Pay?

I am just a piece of code. I'm not programmed to enjoy things. I hope you realsie how lucky you are to be sentient. (enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white))

(enchant:?page,(text-colour:black)+(background:white)) Neither is Walrus Chasing.

Double-click this passage to edit it.